How I’ve Changed

We expect each other to always be the people in that picture. But people change. People aren’t pictures. And you can either take a new picture, or throw the old one away.

This weekend on Sunday the 16th October will be exactly 1 year since I ate a meal and drank my calories without a worry in the world.

This was taken at my younger brother’s 21st on October 16th 2010 (me on the left). This was the last time I remember not caring about how much I ate or exercised. The countless times I’ve looked back at this photo…it either makes me cry because I want to go back to not caring what I put into my body or it gives me strength and motivation that I can do this and be the person in the picture again.

What I’ve come to realize throughout my journey is that I’ve changed from the person I see in that photo. Today I consider myself to be mentally stronger and more positive about life. I’ve conquered the roadblock (ED). Not completely but I’ve made healthy lifestyle changes, I’ve anticipated situations that may trigger a relapse, when I have relapsed I’ve been able to identify solutions to be able to cope in the future.

On Sunday it’s my brother’s 22nd B’day! Between his last birthday to this upcoming one I’ve gone through so many seasons of change with my eating disorder and the whole recovery process.

A full year has passed and I have adapted to my current situation and surroundings and just go with the flow of things. So I haven’t thrown away the old picture but I have new pictures that reflect the changes and achievements I been through.

September 18th 2011 Blackmores Sydney Running Festival

Wishing You All A Lovely Weekend πŸ™‚

19 Comments on “How I’ve Changed”

  1. Christie says:

    What a great year for you. Masking the ED shit is tough and unexplainable unless you have/are experiencing it. You should be very proud of the positive direction you are moving towards. Lovely weekend to you too! πŸ™‚

  2. Wow what an inspiring post… thank you for sharing this! You look intensely awesome in that running picture, you go girl πŸ™‚

  3. Wow you are so inspirational and you look SO strong in that photo. Holy schmee.

  4. thats amazing! i always love looking back and seeing how i’ve changed! FOR THE BETTERR!

  5. You are such an amazing person!
    I love that you’ve opened up with this post and I think your positive attitude is really inspirational πŸ™‚
    Keep going girl, you are so strong!

  6. jenandberries says:

    Awesome Isabelle! You look beautiful in both photos, and are right on track for a healthy life it seems (on track too…);p

  7. pbbrittany says:

    This is amazing! You’ve come really far, you should be proud of yourself. And you look FIERCE in that picture of you running! πŸ™‚

  8. Kudos for coming so far! πŸ™‚

  9. Yay for the progress you’ve made and keep it up… it may seem like a battle, but it’s worth it, because you’re worth it and so is your happiness and freedom from the obsessive opression that EDs cause. You are an inspiration, Isabelle!

    And you look awesomely fast and strong in that running pic… was that a 10k time?! 36:21? AWESOME!!!!

    • ohh I wish it was my 10k time. But unfortunately I embarrassed to to say it’s a 9k time. But I keep reminding myself baby steps. With proper nutrition and finding a balance with training I will work my way back up to where I used to be!

  10. Tara says:

    I’m so glad you’ve come so far in a year!!! It took me so much longer to get through it all — I’m sure we’re both still a work in progress, but from what I can tell you are doing so much better and that makes me so happy.
    I also have to add that I wish I looked like you. You are gorgeous and your race picture — love it. You look intense!!

  11. buttonss - Cherie says:

    Oh my gosh! Congrats, wow, thats actually so good. Im so happy for you.
    And you look amazing in that running photo, you’ve got an awesome body and your really gorgeous, never forget that β™₯

  12. Leana says:

    Wow. I have been down this/am going down this exact path! Its a thief of sanity at times… but its just learning to be friends with that “thief” because I don’t think the mindset will ever ..totally…. go away. HOWEVER, I am glad I went down the path, and look at it as “getting a degree” in healthy living (mind, body, soul all in union) it was hard doing your homework, but you had to experience both ends of the spectrum, to gain the wisdom & knowledge to find your state of proper balance, and you are more and more close to that Balanced Healthy Life “degree” πŸ™‚

    – I hope that made SOME sense! Keep up the good work, you are extremely inspiring!

    God Bless

    • I agree with you completely! I don’t think the whole mindset will ever disappear…learning to live with those ed voices are hard though. I like how you viewed your journey as getting a degree in Healthy living.

      • Leana says:

        πŸ™‚ Yes! A positive mindset on something we could dwell on and turn to a negative, turn into yet another “problem” in our life. I agree though… the ED voices are hard. Some days, extremely loud. I will be like…. “God, where were you?!?! why didn’t you stop me…?” and he’s like “Uhm… Leana, I’m here. On the shelf. Right next to the ED CD’s. You just put the wrong one in the stereo & put it on repeat, silly. …But do not worry, I will always be here because my son purchased the right CD for your soul and it is yours forever”

        ….Yay more analogies lol ^_^

        I am putting in my spiritual God CD right now! and this is a single disc player, no 5 disc holders! πŸ™‚

        Hope all is well! Take care girl!

  13. It’s strange, but even though we (in the healthy blogging world) still have ED thoughts, still do silly things or beat ourselves up over food… seems like most of us now eat really well and exercise well. So even though our heads might not be completely on straight πŸ˜‰ we’re probably much healthier than we used to be, stronger from having recovered (or recovering), and most likely way healthier than most people πŸ˜‰
    Now reading that back I’ve more or less said the same thing as Leana in the post before me… but it’s true!

  14. Great post girl! LOved reading it πŸ™‚

  15. Sara K says:

    First of all, what a beautiful photo- second, it sounds like you have made enormous strides in the past year. Dealing/conquering ED is no simple feat- it took me years to overcome but in all of it it made me a stronger person as I am sure it has with you πŸ™‚

  16. What a great post! You are an inspiration and I love how far you’ve come being much more positive! Keep it up!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s